The success of all relationships you have in life is built on communication. It is the base and bedrock of your connection with other people.
You may suppose that all people are experts in the field of communication. Certainly, such an assumption is not true, and even silly. You have to understand that the most ordinary relationship predicament is communication.
We have problems with it and send to almost unmanageable urges that force us to act in a way divergent from good relationship comportment. Men are the prime offenders in this epidemic. We have that huge male ego to fight with for one, and an almost essential instinct to "win" at every struggle that we participate.
Fight to the end
When we release these typical male forces in the edge of our relation, we make a trace of self-destruction. We begin a model of dysfunction that can be the downfall of the relationship. To prevent it, all you have to do is to communicate with your lady, being a good lover looks real easy, right?
Of course. Then why do most men cannot have a healthy relationship with a woman? When men have to communicate with a woman, they suck and to be sincere, many women are not much better. Ladies may have a born sense for conflict solution but in the end is that we can all make better the way we communicate with each other.
Make time
You have to make time an hour or two for quality time with her, when is possible. Make the effort to sit down across from her after a long day to talk about movies, music, work, friends, about anything, just talk.
Talk about your relationship, mention how well things are going between you or maybe bring up zones you need to improve on to give her what she needs. In addition, don't shy away from telling to her what you want from her.
Be an active listener
It's not so difficult to be an active listener but it does involve a few characteristics that men sometimes find evasive: concentration, modesty and patience.
Concentration is the solution because you have to not only look at her, but also pay attention to her: her body language, her voice, her eyes, her mouth. It needs patience because you must give her as much time to listen to her as she needs.
I count modesty because a lot of men, and me, have a big problem letting someone take the floor for a long period of time. These men want to control the chat and hold court, so to talk. This is not a way that can get you to a good relationship rapport. You can let her have the last word sometimes.
Show her that you care
Our competitive character makes us to attempt to win every battle, we even omit the one simple rule about relationship fight: There is no winner.
Show her that you care no matter how bad the fight was. Take a deep breath and do anything to let her understand that when all is said and done, you care for her.
Feel her hand, put your hand to her neck, or just say the most important words in a relationship, "I love you." Sure, some women don't appreciate this gestures in middle of the fight and may push your hand aside or turn their back. Don't get upset. Just send the message that you care, even if she isn't prepared to forget the fight.
Memorize that communication is a two-way path: It needs the proper delivery of a message, as well as an active auditor to understand it. If you understand that and do so with tenderness, compassion and if you hold back that ego, you should become a winner.
