Is marriage something to be dreaded? Do you have what it takes? Are you ready yet? These are some of the questions that nag people as they are about to settle down. The funny thing is sometimes even after being given a lifetime of preparation, some people are never ready. You become scared of being tied down to the same person for eternity.
You start thinking, 'what if it all goes wrong?" Which I would view as negative vibes that you are wishing upon your life.
People always refer to marriage as the big step. Something to be feared and run away from.
But it cannot be as bad as all that. If you are really soul-mates there shouldn"t be a problem. The only problem is that some people have a hundred soul-mates. That is when everything becomes questionable.
LOVE! That is the foundation that should sustain or even initiate this union. Love on its own it might not do much, but all other factors build around it. Most people fail to realise the significance of the commitment they have made. They fail to realise that it is no longer about self but that it is all about a selfless love. Above all else you should be friends more than anything else.
Marriage signifies the willingness of a couple to dedicate the rest of their lives to each other . A commitment that is meant to last for the rest of their lives.
Two people vow to become one. Nowadays the idea of oneness is conditional. In all essence sometimes people do no take commitment in marriage seriously. Is it supposed to be commitment when everything is smooth sailing?
It is easy to commit when everything is going your way but the true test of making things work comes in being able to look past the difficult times,the stressful times, the times when you clearly have no clue what is going on with your spouse, but still being able to tell yourself that you said you were going to be there through thick and thin.
The are different ways of being married.In my country we have the customary ways,in particular lobola and, the white wedding which takes place in church. Despite the different ways people marry, it is sanctified.
However marriage is like a plant which needs constant maintainance for it to flourish well. You might have a beautiful seedling, that is all green and full of promise but if you hide it where there is no sunshine and you do not water it or regularly trim the bush, it will die.
Most people treat being married like shoes. Shoes????Yes shoes! How often have you passed a shop, seen some shoes that you really like and would do anything to get them, but after a while they just seem to lose their lustre? You know the craze that goes with shoes, today it's in, tomorrow it is out. That is when problems begin to surface.
They are not any different when you have them in your possession but that thrill that you had before you had them just fizzles out.
Most people are never content with what they have, yet I believe contentment is the key to happiness. After getting married they start thinking maybe the shoe is not really what they wanted in the first place, and so put the shoes on a rack and lock them away, only to discover them when maybe a rat has eaten them.
Once you are together things do not just sail ahead. You will experience ups and downs but all that makes it worthwhile. Sometimes however,the downs can take a toll on your relationship. It is for keeps...for better or worse but sometimes that seems like such a herculean task.